You know when you leave that load of towels in the washing machine too long and by the time you dry them they become imbibed with the forever mildew smell? Then they get folded up and put away, looking like perfectly respectable towels in your closet, until you dry off with one and it gets [...]

For some reason every evening my very sweet, cuddly, happy little puppy becomes positively demonic. It’s like his meds wear off at 7:00. No longer the fun loving, wagging tail little guy – he just bares his teeth and runs in circles trying to bite something. Anything. This happens to coincide with bedtime. Which is [...]

I’ve been trying to get my shit together here to make some blog posts but between the kids, the dog, the cold I can’t shake, and the new very lovely cold sore I can’t seem to get to it. I just dropped the girls at school. And getting them fed and dressed and out the [...]

Well, we got through Thanksgiving yesterday. Tragically I was coming down with an epic cold and was not up to participating in our annual underground drinking game. Scott and I have a covert drinking game that gets us through the reality of having alllllll of the extended family in the house for Thanksgiving. I suppose [...]

Is there a good time to get a puppy? There really isn’t – there are just degrees of really bad times to get a puppy. So with that as my excuse I went out on Saturday and adopted a puppy. I know. Bad idea. Why bring any more chaos into this very chaotic house. But [...]

This is a conversation I had via email with my mother aka “St. Grandma:”

Me: How come you won’t read my blog?

Mom: Because you used to send these hilarious letters and books about my angels. That did not show how precious they were. I will read it but my babies better not be bad mouthed. I [...]

Yesterday on the steps of the state capital our Governor, Sonny Purdue, had a prayer meeting to pray for rain… I can’t even come up with a punchline for that. It is its own punchline. In my mind God is somewhere shaking his head thinking, “Dude, I do not control the weather. What is wrong [...]

Tempel: “Mom! Wake up! We haaaaavvvvvvvveeeeee to go to Wal-Mart. Right. Now.”

Me: “No one on the planet ever actually has to go to Wal-Mart.”

Tempel: “I do! I have to buy Super Mario World for my Gameboy.”

Me: “No one actually has to buy Super Mario World.”

Tempel: “Stop saying that! Don’t be lazy. Get up and take [...]

Since the day the girls were old enough to make an inconsolable fuss about something Scott and I have been desperate for a certain product. A dart gun. A dart gun that can be fired at a distance to drop the screaming/flailing/whining child on the spot. Most nights of the week I can see Scott [...]

Parker finally lost her first tooth recently. Her baby teeth would Not. Come. Out. They just wouldn’t budge, even though her permanent teeth decided they couldn’t wait and just started growing up in behind her baby teeth. Two rows of teeth. Like a shark.

Scott had to actually yank them out at the end. They were [...]