At some point on Christmas Eve my sister took my girls out of the house so Scott and I could get the presents out of the attic. I think I’ve mentioned before what a pain in the ass it is to get into my attic. Since time was short I decided that we would just [...]

Anyplace my mom has ever worked they have LOVED her. They wonder how they ever got along without her. They beg her to stay. They cry when she leaves. Right now she’s working for the Governor (in the South we pronounce that “Guhvohnuh”) at the Capitol. All I see is Ms. Magoo getting lost in [...]

Scott’s dad received a letter the other day that made him go absolutely ape-shit. Him receiving mail at all is tricky since most of his mail comes to our house and then I have to bundle it up and mail it to him. We’re working on sorting that little road bump out. I mean the [...]

The other day Brewster (the cutest puppy ever) ate a bug, licked his butt, threw up the contents of his stomach, and licked my face. In that order. And that whole episode was more enjoyable than the trip to the mall the week before Christmas.

I had to return a dress from Macy’s that my mom [...]

Ring. Ring. “Hello. This is Chris speaking.” He sounds very fit over the phone.

“Hi Chris, this is Carolyn. You left a message for me to call you back.” I hope I don’t sound like I’m laying on the couch. Which I am.

“Right, hi there. I wanted to talk to you a bit before you come [...]

We had another successful ornament swap this year. It was as vicious as ever. There was one new girl and I felt obligated as the hostess to let her know that she had to be ruthless. They won’t respect you if you’re meek and once they smell your fear they have you. You’ll get stuck [...]

Brewster has been very busy. He has a two year plan to eliminate socks from the North Metro Area. With the pace he’s been eating them I think he’s got a good chance to meet his goal. He’s pretty much chewing or asleep at this point. So what’s a human-mom to do? I have to [...]

Santa’s had a hard day in the sweatshop. Tempel drew this lovely picture of an artistically lopsided butterfly and asked Santa to please make it into a real stuffed animal. A real stuffed animal that is 5 feet tall. A real stuffed animal that is 5 feet tall and looks exactly like the picture. Um, [...]

Does anyone else have an Elf infestation? We are currently battling two vicious little guys. They showed up innocently enough – with new slippers for the girls.

Then they decided to use one of my plastic bowls to build a boat and went sailing in the fountain. The oars were made out of Tempel’s chopsticks.

I guess [...]

While shopping in Wal-Mart the other day (which I detest) I overheard two workers complaining to each other while stocking shelves. Apparently they were having a hard time deciding where exactly the items should be placed. I just had to share:

“I done tol’ ya my people c’aint read. Lest lookin’ a numbuhs.”