From Me via email to my Mother and Sister:

Your darling little granddaughter gave me this note this morning.

Can you read it? It says, “Mom my feelings were hurt last night because you just walked out of the room.” WELL, it was 10 freaking o’clock and I was tucking her in AGAIN and it was the [...]

Ok so today kind of sucked big fat donkey balls. My father in law is not doing well. You can catch up on the whole story (sort of) here and here. Scott is a big sad mess. A big sad hot mess. Who can blame him. So he spent the day with his dad and [...]

Ahh summer. It’s all good except for having to wear the damn bathing suit. And the kids want to go to the pool. Ok, I figured I would just get into it in a flash and look in the mirror super fast. Like ripping off a band-aid. It’ll hurt less. Quick change. Glance in mirror. [...]

I am not from here. I was not raised in the South. And there are things about this place that I still don’t fully understand. I call it The Code Ya’ll. I mean I understand trying to raise your children to be respectful but what’s with all the ma’aming? Yes ma’am. No ma’am. I find [...]

Tempel is crying. “What’s wrong?” Big gulp of air, “The boys won’t let me play with them cuz I don’t have a weapon.” What the… “What kind of weapons do they have?” She’s listing them on her fingers, “Will has a gun, Spencer has a knife, and Neal has his fists.” Oh, isn’t playtime and [...]

We went to Highlands, NC with our neighbors for the long weekend. If I had a proper amount of computer/internet skills I would have The Lemonheads, The Outdoor Type start playing as soon as this page is opened. But I don’t know how to do that. So I’m just putting the lyrics in next to [...]

We like to kick it old school around here during the summer. Mornings spent watching tv wearing daddy’s t-shirt that you slept in last night…

Daddy’s t-shirt that reads: Kool-Ass pimpgear. Ahem.

Conversations with my mother are emails in which my mother, sister, and I chit chat. I think they’re funny.

My mother:
All the tests were fine. I have no problems. It was probably fat. I am lucky they didn’t ultrasound the rest of me.

Julie (my sister):
Um…did I miss something? What tests???? J.

My mother:
I had to have my [...]

My name is Carolyn and I’m an art store snob. I’m not proud of it but there you have it. Back in college I would cruise the aisles with my graphite (art snob slang for pencil) and my trash (art snob slang for tracing paper) and I would feel quite superior. But let’s face it, [...]

Brewster – cutest puppy ever also major PAIN IN THE ASS – got groomed yesterday. Here’s what I find odd about myself, I HATE getting my hair done. Hate it. I think it’s absurd to spend the same amount of money on highlights and a cut that I could spend on an airplane ticket. And [...]