A few years ago I had a doozy of a sinus infection. But it was the holidays and I was busy so I managed to ignore it until it was full blown and I ended up stumbling into a corner clinic the day after Christmas to be treated by some sub par nurse practitioner. [...]

Tempel turned 9 yesterday. N-i-n-e. Nine. Years. Old. This doesn’t seem at all strange to me since she’s been living with me and Scott for somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 years. Oh wait, that can’t be right. Maybe it just feels like 15 years sometimes. It must only be 9 years. I’ve got the [...]

Forgive me Father for I have sinned, it’s been…um. Huh, a long freakin’ time since my last confession.

Let’s just start off with the fact that I haven’t committed murder. I mean that’s got to be the worst one, right? I totally haven’t done that. Does it count if I wanted to commit murder? That dog [...]

Scott decided that it was time for the girls to learn about money and budgeting and fiscal responsibility. Um, ok. They’re 7 and 8 and still believe in fairies, I’m sure they’re totally ready to grasp the concept of the almighty dinero. But it seems important to him so I let him have his responsibility [...]

When I was in fourth or fifth grade I had music instruction shoved down my throat at the local public school by way of a plastic Recorder. It was nothing more than a repository for spit. At least it was my spit. But still… ewwww. Needless to say I don’t play an instrument.

And now I [...]

SCOTT: Ugh! I’m not sleeping well at night. We need a new mattress.

ME: Oh yeah, you’re not sleeping well because of the “mattress.”

SCOTT: Pushing down on the depression in the mattress created by his butt. Look at this! There’s a hole in the mattress!

ME: It’s the hole made from your ass. [...]

When I told this story I mentioned the Buick that my mother was driving at the time. My mother – who is doing just fine now thankyouverymuch – is a complete wreck when it comes to anything mechanical. Or electronic. Or digital. I want you to imagine an attractive, female, Mr. Magoo. We shall call [...]

Ok, I freaked some of you out yesterday with that silly conversation with my lovely husband. I was just trying to share some of the funny back and forth that is taking place daily in my home. But some of you went, Aaaaggghhhh!

So I asked Scott to come here and type out some advice to [...]

ME: How was work? I saw the market bounced.

SCOTT: Oh, yeah. Bear market bounce. Hard and sharp. It’ll roll over again.

ME: Hmmm, he’s clearly worried. That’s good though, right?

SCOTT: Distracted. The market? I’m not worried about the market. I’m fine with the market. It’s just going to do what it’s going to do.

ME: It gonna [...]

So some weird shit happened at camp….

Oh I just crack myself up. That wasn’t as sinister as it looked. It was part of a silly game where one girl had to feed another one a donut on a string. Dipped in chocolate. No, I don’t know why. And yes, I would have won had [...]