I just want a restful quiet Thanksgiving. That’s what Scott said to me and because I am the girl who makes shit happen around here I’m on it.
Problem: How to extricate ourselves from our families.
Solution: Run away from home.
Ok then, we are running away from home. Just for Thanksgiving. Well, and maybe Christmas but we’ll get to that later. Ahhhh can’t you feel the stress just easing from your shoulders?
I found a place to run to. Check. Now all I have to do is pack for all of us for the weekend, buy, prepare, and in some cases cook the food. Do the 57 loads of laundry required to allow me to actually pack any clothes. Clean the refrigerator to be able to store the 24 bags of groceries I just bought because some sort of purplish viscous fluid seems to have spilled all over the refrigerator. We hardly ever eat purple food. I can’t imagine what it is. Or was. Anyway, I have to clean it out before I can feel right about putting new clean food in there.
Tomorrow I will be preparing all of the food. Making the brine for the turkey, chopping the ingredients for the stuffing, mashed potatoes, salad, cauliflower/brussel sprouts gratin, chili, five bean soup, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese for my picky eater, deserts, appetizers . . . Finishing the laundry. Possibly taking the girls to my mother-in-law’s for a sleepover. Except that she’ll cancel at the last minute so I probably won’t have to do that. But if I do then on Wednesday I will also need to give the kids a bath in the morning to clean the smoke smell out of their hair. I know, I’m an ungrateful beeyotch. I’m trying to reform.
On Wednesday I will also be cooking most of the food for the Thanksgiving feast to some point of completion so that it will be stable enough for the car ride. And also cooking food for the other meals of the weekend. Locating warm weather items like gloves, hats, scarves, etc. Packing the kids suitcases. Oh, and heading to a friend’s house to hang out for a bit because if I don’t I will surely want to leave my kids here for the long weekend to fend for themselves.
Thursday I will get up, get showered and dressed, feed the kids, make them get dressed, walk the dog, and pack the car. I don’t let Scott pack the car because I have mad packing skills. Get all of the food loaded in the appropriate container to keep it cold or hot. Load up the rest of the food for the weekend. Make sure we have all necessary blankets, bears, and pillows. Get the directions, the snacks for the road, the Dramamine for Tempel, the movies for the ride, the plug thing that we always forget for the DVD player, the iPod and docking station, the camera, the life jackets for the kids so they can ride in the canoe, oh and dog food and bowls for Brewster, bathing suits for the kids for the hot tub, penicillin for the kids for when they get out of the petri dish hot tub, decks of cards and poker chips, magazines for us and the kids, matches for fire pit, and beer and wine for us.
Are you feeling my calmness? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
I’ll be back on Monday. Then I’ll catch up with all of your shenanigans and I’ll fill you in on ours. Until then, have a nice Thanksgiving and if any in-laws pass out in your playroom please take pictures.
That sounds like a totally adventurous and borderline insane Thanksgiving. Nice! I love the mystery of it… you’re headed to some Northern location I take it? Can you not divulge the destination lest the relatives find you? Very fun! I have a feeling you’re going to have a very memorable Thanksgiving. Hopefully, it will be memorable in a good way. Good luck!
Oh — and also? I have a solution for the naughty momma/well behaved children problem that you are facing with your girls and their perfect attendence. Just tell them you’ll pick them up AFTER attendance has been taken… that way, you get to skip most of the day, party it up, and they still get their perfect attendence records. It could work.
I can’t even get my kids to drink coffee. They’re such a disappointment…
Uh, just one question…what is the brine for the Turkey? I have no idea what that is. But that’s not saying much b/c I am the girl that can’t cook rice.
I love “Kraft Macaroni and Cheese for my picky eater”. I know that my oldest will be eating a grilled cheese sandwich while the rest of us enjoy our turkey.
Yikes. I am now very thankful that I only have a short 30 minute car ride to endure before we eat turkey dinner. Best of luck to you, sister.
Yeah…that sounds…fun?
I know you will make it happen, sister, but that sounds like a big freaking undertaking. But still better then in-laws passed out in your playroom!
Have a great weekend!
in one post you have proven once again why women should rule the world. Have a great, safe holiday!
okay, I’m DAMN exhausted just reading this. However, I KNOW you will have a wonderful time!!
gobble, gobble……..
Enjoy the holiday. I know you have alot to do to prepare but you are going to have a great time!
Um. So Scott is relaxed and, as for you…not so much?
Oh, and I was totally hoping this blog was about “Wild Turkey”. Anybody got a shot?
Holy shit girl, you’re stressing ME out.
I think my blood pressure just went up a little bit…
I hope you have an awesome time though!
gobble, gobble
when I first heard about this idea, i figured you might be MAYBE roasting a chicken and throwing a pizza at the kids. but noooooo!
heyzeus! and also, good on you: i think it’s the realm of the Mother to make the memories (sorry boys for being all sexist) and you are doing that and you will do it well.
that being said, whatever you decide is enough wine and beer: double it.
PS: Plymouth Rock. Just saying.
I would think having to go to such extremes to avoid your families . . . then I remember what I’ve read about said families and think this must be worth it. I hope you have a wonderful time and many happy memory-making moments that the girls will talk about for the rest of their lives.
Sounds fabulous! Have a great time. I’ll just be sitting here feeding my family…dinner. With just the 6 of us, it won’t seem like much else. And I can’t run away because my kids aren’t out of school:(
I’m just really curious to know where you are GOING with all of this food.
You’re not gonna tell us where you’re going?
Carolyn! I keep volunteering to be one of your kids. I can bake and pack food and everything.
So, wanna?