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A trip through my camera.

School has started. Please notice the red Uggs. Ugh is right. Yesterday was the first day of third and fourth grade for my spawn. And it was fanfuckingtastic. Sorry to be so crass. I really like school. I mean six whole hours of my kids off learning stuff and leaving me to my own devices? Priceless.

And while looking through the pictures on my camera to get that photo I discovered the pictures from my girls’ night from Friday. And What. The. Hell?

Why was that large man rubbing your feet? Why do I have SO MANY pictures of that freakishly tall woman? Who is the guy with no shirt? Were we really alone on a non-dancefloor dancing to the Beastie Boys? Oh my….

We went to Whiskey Blue which is a bar here in Atlanta where women in very short skirts with very high heels and questionable reputations go to fulfill their childhood dreams of hooking up with professional athletes.


And I was wearing flip flops. Which I think is a metaphor for so many things in my life.

I also found pictures from the concrete pouring phase of the Garagmahal. And now I think I can see why we’re already over budget. Goddammit.

There’s a random action shot of Jesus Christos (Hey-Seuss Krees-toass) that poor kid that saw me naked. JC was our head framer’s little boy. Well, he’s a man now. Now that he climbed the ladder which was apparently right outside my bathroom window.

So my framer, or should I say carpenter, has a son, or should I say apprentice, named Hey-Seuss Krees-toass which we all know is how our Latin friends pronounce Jesus Christ. And all of the pictures I have of his kid have a strange light emanating from them. Huh. Maybe there’s something to the whole Jesus myth.*

I also have an unfortunate picture, which I won’t share because I’m nice like that, of where Brewster left a big pile of steamy dog love on my friend Laura’s bed. Laura and her kids were visiting and it isn’t even a proper guest bed, it’s an IKEA couch thing and for some reason Brewster decided that would be the perfect place to leave a little present.

Poor Laura. The last time I was at her house I threw up in her bed and now this. Why does she put up with us?

There was a one in a million picture of our playgroup kids all together at the pool. Which was quite a trick since two of those kids live in The Netherlands. And we’re missing one family but she couldn’t come in from Greenville. Or maybe she’s still mad about when I vandalized her car last year after the Clemson-Alabama game.

I found some real photographic gems that Parker took at the Change of Command ceremony. I think she’s got an eye for capturing emotional moments on film. Well, here see for yourself.


So that’s it. Summer’s over. Again. No more playing in the park until the lightening bugs come out searching for beetles and dancing with abandon and doing rhythmic gymnastics with willow tree branches.

*Please direct all hate mail, prayers for my soul, and general pleas to stop being a heathen to my comment section and/or email. Except for you honey, you can admonish me when you get home from work.
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No comments yet to A trip through my camera.

  • Twenty-Something

    HI-sterical.

  • -kerrie

    Holy Cow…You started school already? We don't start until Sept….When do y'all get OUT of school?

  • Kate Coveny Hood

    I can't wait for Oliver to start preschool next month – and that's only a half a day!

    This year it's Uggs, in a few more years it will be too much eyeliner and really short skirts (if I remember being a teenager correctly). Enjoy the red boots!

  • Muskrat

    I can't believe you're taking your kids' backyard for that thing! Poor kids. Maybe you can send them to Neil's pool or nicely landscaped front lawn to play instead.

    I won't touch the Jesus reference.

  • for a different kind of girl

    If Hey-Seuss ever comes inside and tells you he's bored or something, I suppose, since he is now a man and all, you could offer to take him on a field trip to the Whiskey Blue, where it appears some women make the unfortunate mistake of donning forehead-hugging headbands instead of bras. Or he could find his guardian angel in the man who is in the winged Tshirt and attempting to hypnotize all with his eyes.

  • Jett

    Don't sweat the Jesus thing, kid. Some people have sprained tongues, which effectively prevents them from placing them firmly in their cheeks.

    Also, re: Uggs….I typically find the things hideous, but your kid makes them work. And, RED!

  • Cass

    You so crack me up!

  • Pastor Sharon

    The red uggs are a fashion statement. . . in some countries! Hey, I'm trying to help!

    I have pink Uggs. They are shoes not boots. But they are just as. . . well. . . you know what. . it doesn't matter! I love them!

  • MsPicketToYou

    you know how i feel about those uggs?

  • MereCat

    That was a really fun post! Sounds like an awesome summer to me. I can't wait (I really shouldn't say this) for the six hours of child free bliss that school provides.

  • A Free Man

    You just keep buying her those Uggs. I'm pretty sure the reason we're doing so well economically down here is Ugg sales in Europe and North America.

  • Dana's Brain

    Love the pics. Thanks for not including the dog poop one.

  • Dyar Baby Momma

    So what does it say when I've lived in Atlanta 10 years and I don't know what Whiskey Blue is…

    I had to laugh at the red uggs – its Atlanta and 90-freakin' degrees!

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