I am afraid to utter this out loud for fear that a tree will fall on it or a water pipe will burst under it but… the Garage is sort of finished. It’s not entirely finished. There are always punch out things to tidy up. And we’re still rebuilding the screen porch off [...]

I have this super cute poncho thing. See? Isn’t it fun? I happen to love my poncho thing. Scott, however, does not love my poncho. I lost it for like a year. It was shoved waaaay in the back of the closet. As if it had been hidden there by some evil little troll. Named Scott. I don’t [...]

Dear Sanjay,

Do you mind if I call you Sanjay? You seem like a pretty laid back guy. So listen, I know you’re a neurosurgeon and all but you need to cool it. Really. You’re giving me a complex. You’re two months younger than me. You make the rest of us feel inadequate.

It’s bad enough that [...]

So last summer I turned 40. And the rite of passage for us old broads is a mammogram. Yay us! So I had mine today. And ouch. It got me thinking . . . what if things were a tad different?

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The one female doctor stands up at the board meeting of the US [...]

ME:  Do you guys know what sex is?

TEMPEL: Yep, it’s when you kiss all fancy and touch pee-pees.

PARKER: That’s not a real word.

ME: It is a real word.

PARKER: Well, you have to be married to kiss fancy like that.

ME: Deciding not to change their misconception on that one. Uh huh. And what do you have [...]

Today is Darcy’s birthday. Go tell her hello and happy happy.

It’s a Post Picket Fence Party kind of day.

At 6:00 am my girls came tearing into my room screaming that there was snow on the ground and school was cancelled and they could sleep in!  Um . . . Hello dumbasses! Then go back to bed. Sleep. In. Late. They didn’t go back to sleep.

At 6:45 am they were rummaging under my bed [...]

It’s the garage that started it. We just wanted to build a detached garage. That’s all, just a dry place to park our cars. But that turned into the Garagemahal. And now it’s the Garage-from-hell because it will just never ever be finished. It started last May when we broke ground. Yes, last May. I [...]

So I fessed up to secretly writing a novel in 2009. Of course you can’t throw a rock around the internet without finding a blogger writing a novel.

I have become a cliché.

Like the actor that really wants to direct.

But the story just sort of fell out of my head and onto the keyboard. So it [...]

If you haven’t seen Avatar yet — And I say ‘yet’ because you will see it. It has been written that all shall see it. — then I guess this could be a spoiler. Except that the whole point of seeing Avatar is for the special effects and I’m just here to discuss the larger message. [...]